My Big Blue Backpack

Like most people in their early thirties, my life has changed fairly drastically in the last ten years.  12 packs of beer have been replaced with bottles of breastmilk.  Trips to the gym traded for play dates with other women in sweats and their overly active toddlers.  In fact, as I look around, I struggle to find any evidence or traces of the lifestyle I led back in the early 00's.

  

As I search to find something that connects Bri circa 2002 with the Bri of today only one item stands out.  The one and only item that seems to have stood the test of time is a large, blue LL Bean backpack, purchased the summer before my senior year in college when I spent a month traveling and studying in Europe.  

The trip was organized by the university.  The professors in charge advised us to travel light to ensure that flights were made and trains were caught.  I was one of the only students (at least the female ones) who took the advice and the LL Bean backpack was key to having all the essential items in a compact and organized place.  Packing up my things as we moved from city to city, country to country became even easier after I left many of my clothing items in a laundry room in the Netherlands after oversleeping and almost missing the cab to the airport.  I prefer not to share the details to the public at-large but lets just say a handsome British cricket player was involved in the incident.  

Fast forward 9 years or so, and instead of finding me at a bar, a frat house, overseas, or a funky coffee shop, you will find me in my living room with my three adorable, but not necessarily all especially planned for, children.  My two year old son is currently pretending to be a "horse", which involves growling and hopping.  One of my 8 week old daughters is passed out on my lap as I type, and the other stirs in her bouncy seat, making faces that lead me to believe she is in the middle of some work that will soon require my attention.  This is now my life and, for the most part, I love it.  

But in my view, sitting by the sliding glass door in my kitchen, is that same big blue LL Bean backpack that once walked down the Red Light District in Amsterdam and came close to being left behind on the Tube in London.  That same large backpack with it's pockets and compartments, now makes an accommodating diaper bag for me and my three small children.  It's days of holding make up, flasks, and foreign trinkets are over.  These days, all of those zippered compartments make space for diapers and wipes, burp clothes and nursing pads.  

You might think that I look at that bag and feel remorse or nostalgia, that I might wish to return to those exciting, freeing days.  But instead of symbolizing what was or the person I use to be, that simple backpack instead reminds me of my evolution, reminds me of the path I took to become the person I am today with the amazing life that I have.  And I have a feeling that backpack of mine hasn't seen it's last adventure quite yet.  

So this is me, and whatever your reason for taking the time to read this little blog, thanks.  I'll try to come up with interesting things to say and make an attempt to write somewhat regularly.  But please do keep in mind I do have three kids under three, brain cells and time are hard to come by.  Also, my punctuation and spelling leave something to be desired, either ignore or correct kindly if you must.  Until next time, keep living the dream (whatever that might be).