Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Love Letter

I've recently been playing catch up with all three of my kids' baby books.  Looking at pictures from the past 3+ years since we planted out first seed (aka-Ben), has gotten me thinking about all the conversations Sean and I had about having a family after we found out we were expecting.  So today I went and got out the journal with the letters I wrote to each of my children when I was pregnant.  My little wolf pack visited slumber-land at the same time (quite an accomplishment) and allowed me some precious moments to re-read all the letters I had written.  One in particular, that I wrote in the second trimester of my pregnancy with Ben, got me pretty emotional and helped me to re-prioritize what's important to me as a parent.  It is easy to get caught up in the details (nap times, feedings, dishes, laundry, keeping my kids from clawing each other's eyes out).  This little letter reminded me of why I made the decision to become a parent and the gifts I want to give to my children.

I read the letter to Ben after his nap and asked if I could share it with you.  He said it was okay if you read it as long as he could have a snack.  So, while Ben eats his cheese and fruit, take a few minutes to read the words of a naive but fairly wise (if I do say so myself) little expectant mommy:
Pregnant with Mr. Ben on Swans Island (aka- the girl who wrote the letter)


7/10/2009

Dear Mia or Ben,

I love you little one.  Grow strong for Mommy.


The Island is so beautiful today.  Bright blue, cloudless skies, a cool breeze to cut the warm air.  Your grandmother and I are at the Fine Sand Beach reading, drawing (Gram not me), going for walks, and watching lobsterman collect their traps.  I can almost picture you playing in the sand, asking us to run with you, or help you build a sandcastle out of seashells, rocks, and sand.  But for now you grow in my belly, which amazes me and makes me believe in god in a way I never thought possible.  Rest and grow strong, my sweet baby. 


Picturing you being here beside me makes me think about the kind of mother I hope to be.  Here are some things I can promise you (feel free to hold this list over my head in your preteen and teenage years):
  • I will love you unconditionally and with my whole heart.
  • I will talk with you and share my experiences but, more importantly, I will listen, really listen, when you have something to say.
  • Even though I will want to protect you and keep you safe from all hurts and pain, I will allow you to make your own choices and mistakes.  
  • I promise to be your mother first, even when you think you'd rather me just be a friend.  I will tell you the truth (nicely) even when you don't really want to hear it.
  • You will always have boundaries to keep you safe and expectations and responsibilities to keep you focused.  But I will also encourage you to be a child and enjoy life no matter your age.
  • I will accept you for who you are even if I don't always understand the choices you make.  I will allow you to be your own person and find your own way.  Even though it will be hard for me, I won't stand in your way of taking risks and taking steps towards independence.  
  • I will engage you in conversation and activities that get your mind and imagination working.  I will be the teacher and the student and let you be both too.  
  • I will constantly expose you to new things and new perspectives and then encourage you to choose your own interests to investigate further.  
  • Besides just your father and I, I will surround you with people who will support you and be a positive influence in your life.  You will know friendship, laughter, and fun.  
  • I will share with you my love for life and try my best to be a role-model of kindness, compassion, optimism, and perseverance.   
Sweetheart, to summarize, I promise to always do my best and try to do right by you.  I am not a perfect person.  I will lose my patience at times and let stress and frustration get the best of me.  But you will always know that I love you.  This being a mom thing is new to me but I will learn as I go and treasure every moment of being your mom.

Love you!
Your Mommy

No comments:

Post a Comment