Happy Anniversary Baby!

Four years ago today I wore my fun, party style wedding dress and, in front of all of our family and friends, married my sweet, balding, storytelling best friend.  Sean and I still constantly talk about how amazing our wedding day was.  We also love to reminisce about our history and the events that brought us together (described in a previous post).  Part of the reason our story is so remarkable to me is because  there were so many moments in time when it almost didn't happen at all.  Like one of those you pick the ending books, there were a lot of possible, not so lovely, outcomes that were only nearly avoided.


I guess I believe in a form of destiny, the kind that is strongly influenced by free-will.  I think the universe gives us ample opportunities to reach our greatest potential and happiness but it is up to us to make the most of those opportunities.  Sean and I both also believe that the energy we put out is the energy that we get back.  If we focus on all of the ways we are blessed and believe that things will continue to work out for us, then the universe (or whatever you want to call it) will continue to provide.  Although I've always believed these things, I haven't always lived it.  Because of that, I think the universe probably got pretty sick of giving Sean and I opportunities to realize that we were suppose to be together.  


There are a couple of moments in the history of Sean and Bri that, looking back, are particularly ironic. One being the time about 9 years ago when Sean and I were having beers at Gritty's with a friend.  That friend and I were both single and were discussing whether or not we thought we had already met our future husband or wife.  The two of us were both open to the possibility that our life partner might already be in our lives.  Sean, on the other hand, was adamant that he had not yet met the woman of his dreams, which was pretty funny since Sean was in a long-term, serious relationship.  My friend and I started giving Sean a really hard time about being in a relationship that he was sure was going nowhere when Sean said, "I have a much better chance of marrying Bri than I do (insert old girlfriend- who I hope doesn't get her hands on this blog)."  If this was a work of fiction you would call this a serious case of foreshadowing but at the time I only thought it was evidence of Sean's stupidity (said in the nicest way).


My other favorite Sean quote from the "pre-marriage/kids/happily-ever-after" days took place several years later after another night  of some drinks with friends.  Sean and I had gone into town together but Sean wanted to stay out longer.  I was ready to go home but had drank too much to drive.  I called the guy I had been dating to pick me up.  When I told Sean how I was getting home he got pretty upset.  This was during the "will we or won't we be together" era in the saga of Sean and Bri.  I had made pretty clear that I wasn't going to sit around and wait for Sean to figure his stuff out and was actively pursuing other options.  The guy on his way to pick me up was the first person Sean actually felt threatened by.  So that night, sitting on the steps of the Children's Museum (a place where we now hold a family membership) Sean said in the most hopeless voice, "your wedding day is going to be the saddest day of my life." FYI- I still left with the other guy but it wasn't long after that when Sean finally made his move.  


Fortunately for both of us, Sean was right at Gritty's but wrong outside of the museum.  Our wedding day was amazing and most of the days since have been pretty awesome too.  I love being married and being a mom.  The last four years have easily been the best of my life.  Whenever I think about my partnership with Sean and the peace and love I have found with him, I am always reminded of this poster my dad had hanging in his home-office.  The poster was a long list of pieces of advice to have a happy life.  One of them went something like this, "Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 percent of all your happiness or misery."  I think I chose well and am rewarded for my good decision making every day in the form of cooked dinners, co-parenting, and lots of silliness and laughter.  Happy anniversary baby!  I love you.  

Thank You For Being a Friend

In the last couple of months I have regularly had the theme song for The Golden Girls on replay in my crowded little brain.  You know the one, "Thank you for being a friend, travelled down the road and back again, your heart is true you're a pal and a confidant."  As if this wasn't random and wacky enough, every time it bounces into my head I start to tear up.  Yup, this little ditty from a show that dates back to the mid 80's (that I haven't even seen a clip of in at least 10 years) brings me to tears every time I think of it (which is a lot).  Now I could easily blame lack of sleep or the hormones involved in breastfeeding three kids on this emotional reaction but the real reason happens to be considerably sappier but undeniably true.  And that truth is that I have never felt more loved, cared for, and supported in my life.  I have never before felt like I had so many people to be grateful for, so many pals and confidants.  And in a word, it is awesome.  Actually I need two words, it is totally awesome.  

I have these three beautiful little creatures created in my womb that look at me every day with admiration, awe, and total love.  They make me feel like the most special person on the planet.  I am married to my best friend, someone who loves me totally as I am, in spite of the fact that he is all too familiar with my many flaws.  He makes me roar with laughter every day and manages to still make me feel sexy and desired even after being up close and personal as I birthed each of our three little monsters.  My blessings continue with parents who are still happily married after 33 years, people that I can both call for advice and emotional/financial/household support but also have over for a drink, some pizza, and a lot of laughs.  My sister is not only my co-conspirator on teasing our parents and reminiscing on all things mischievous from childhood but someone I can talk with about anything under the sun and a person I admire for her creativity and zest.  

My parents and sister with my Ben

On top of all that, I have this sea of people who are not bound to be by blood or marriage vows.  This group of people actually chooses to be in my life, to expose themselves to my shenanigans and tomfoolery.  Today one of those people, a work friend from my last school, came and spent the day with me.  I treated her to diaper changes, constant relocations to chase my 2 year old, and some hearty spit-up, because nothing says friendship  like my regurgitated breastmilk all over your shirt.  Not only does Tracy regularly make the hour long drive to come see us and stays the entire day with all hands on deck but she often brings diapers too, which has become a sort of currency in this home.  Yesterday my best friend of 20 years and I got to exchange a few one syllable words on the phone between the cries and hoots of our seven collective kids.  I wish for my children the type of lifelong friendship I have with Nicole.  I hope they have someone that they trust with their darkest secrets and can show their true self even in their most vulnerable times.  Yesterday the kids and I also entertained two new friends that I made while going to mommy groups with the girls.  These women understand that a sleeping baby comes before all else and that being a mom can be a lonely job if you let it be.  

My BFF and 5 out of our 7 collective children

Since the population jump in this house almost seven months ago, I have become even more aware of the power of friendship.  I don't know if we would have survived or stayed nearly as intact without the outpouring of support.  The friends that I made from the new mom groups with Ben not only brought food over every day for almost three weeks after I had Brynn and Eme but continue to provide adult company, playmates for Ben, advice, and a group of girlfriends to feel connected with to prevent my life from being swallowed up with diaper changes, feedings, and nap schedules.  My girlfriend Maia has been my guru for all things breastfeeding and continues to make me feel awesome instead of foolish for nursing all three of my children.  My parents, my mother-in-law, and my sister-in-law have helped keep my marriage intact by being willing to take on three kids while Sean and I sneak out for drinks or the occasional meal.  My current work friends, who conveniently have recently completed their families, have been so generous in passing along their baby clothes and gear to my now well dressed and entertained little girls.  

Some of my mommy friends!

In conclusion, I am grateful.  I am so blessed and grateful for the people in my life.  If I didn't name you specifically please know that you are still appreciated and so loved.  I am extremely proud to be able to surround my children with such wonderful human beings.  Oh, and one more thing,   "if you through a party, invited everyone you ever knew, you would see the biggest gift would be from me, and the card attached would say thank you for being a friend."